Gray Divorce Is Booming—But Not Where You Think
For decades, divorce was considered the domain of the young and restless. But recent research from Bowling Green State University reveals a surprising twist: older Americans are divorcing at higher rates than ever before—and they're changing the face of family law as we know it.
This “gray divorce” phenomenon refers to divorces among people aged 50 and older. In 1990, just 8% of divorcing adults were in this age group. Fast forward to 2019, and that number has skyrocketed to 36%. In fact, nearly 1 in 10 people getting divorced in the U.S. today is 65 or older.
So what’s behind this trend, and what does it mean for families and the future of marriage?

A Half Century of Change
According to sociologists Susan L. Brown and I-Fen Lin, the rise in gray divorce didn’t happen overnight. From 1970 to 1990, the divorce rate among older adults crept up only slightly. But between 1990 and 2010, it doubled. Since then, it has plateaued for the middle-aged (50–64), but continues to rise steadily among those 65 and older.

This upward trajectory reflects two things: a growing population of older married adults and shifting attitudes about what marriage should be. In short, Americans are living longer—and they’re less willing to stay in unhappy relationships.

Why Older Adults Are DivorcingThe study points to several major social shifts driving this trend:

• Changing definitions of marital success: Personal fulfillment and happiness are now central to how people evaluate relationships.
• More second (and third) marriages: Remarriages are generally less stable than first marriages.
• Economic independence: Especially among women, financial autonomy makes leaving an unsatisfying marriage more feasible.
• Longer life expectancy: People simply have more years of marriage ahead—and more time to consider alternatives.

Boomers vs. Gen X:
A Generational ShiftInterestingly, the rise in gray divorce appears to be a Boomer-specific trend. Baby Boomers, who were in their 50s and early 60s in 2010, have always had higher divorce rates than other generations. Now that they’ve aged into the 65+ bracket, divorce is surging in that group too.

In contrast, Gen Xers—who are now replacing Boomers in the 50–64 range—have had fewer divorces throughout their adult lives. As a result, the gray divorce rate for middle-aged adults is flattening, and may even decline in coming years.

Who’s Most at Risk?
The 2019 data shows that certain factors increase the likelihood of divorce after age 50:

• Remarriage: Divorce rates are almost twice as high for those in second or later marriages.
• Shorter marriage duration: The shorter the marriage, the higher the risk of divorce.
• Race and ethnicity: Black adults face the highest gray divorce rates; Asians the lowest.
• Lower education and income: People with lower socioeconomic status are more likely to experience gray divorce.
• Unemployment: Being unemployed significantly increases divorce risk.

What This Means for Families—and the Law
Gray divorce brings a unique set of challenges. Divorcing later in life often means dividing retirement accounts, selling a long-time family home, or even dealing with adult children who have emotional or financial ties to their parents’ relationship.

From a legal standpoint, gray divorce cases tend to be more about asset division and spousal maintenance than child custody. For attorneys, mediators, and financial advisors, the needs of older clients are complex—and growing.

The Takeaway
​Gray divorce is reshaping the landscape of marriage and divorce in America. While it may slow down as Gen X replaces the Boomers in midlife, one thing is clear: divorce is no longer just for the young. As more older adults seek freedom and fulfillment in their later years, family law must evolve to meet them where they are.

Today is a significant milestone—my daughter turns 18. Legally, this marks the end of a long chapter defined by custody orders, court hearings, and legal battles. For 14 years, I fought to protect my time with her, to have a say in her life, and to ensure she knew she was deeply loved and wanted.

Now, in the eyes of the law, she is an adult. The custody orders that once dictated our time together are no longer in force. The court no longer holds power over when I see her or how decisions are made. However, the transition from a court-ordered parent-child relationship to one of mutual choice and respect isn't as simple as flipping a switch.

As a divorce lawyer, I've guided many parents through custody battles, modifications, and enforcement actions. But today, I stand not as an attorney, but as a father experiencing the bittersweet moment of watching my child step into adulthood. And while the court's role is over, my role as her father is not.
What Happens When Custody Orders End?
​Legally speaking, when a child turns 18:

• Possession schedules no longer apply: They are free to choose when and how they spend time with each parent.
• Parental rights over medical and educational decisions end: Your child now controls their own medical records, educational decisions, and finances.

However, not all child support obligations automatically end at 18. In Texas, child support typically continues until the child graduates from high school if they are enrolled as a full-time student, or until they turn 18, whichever occurs later. Additionally, if your child has a disability that requires substantial care and personal supervision and is not capable of self-support, child support may continue indefinitely. It's crucial to consult an attorney to understand your specific rights and obligations, as failing to do so could lead to legal and financial complications. 

Practical Considerations for Parents
While legal obligations may shift, several considerations can support your child's transition into adulthood:

1. Medical Power of Attorney & HIPAA Release: Once your child turns 18, you no longer have the right to access their medical records or make medical decisions on their behalf. Consider having them sign a Medical Power of Attorney and HIPAA Release so you can assist in emergencies.
2. Financial Planning & Support Discussions: If your child is attending college or still living at home, they may need continued financial support. Discuss and formalize agreements regarding contributions for education, car insurance, or living expenses.
3. Residency & Household Rules: If your child lives with you after turning 18, set clear expectations regarding responsibilities, contributions to household expenses, and plans for future independence.
4. College & Health Insurance Decisions: Parents often remain financially tied to their children, such as keeping them on health insurance plans or co-signing student loans. Review ongoing responsibilities and expectations.
5. Updating Legal Documents: If you have an estate plan, update it now that your child is an adult. If you were previously their legal guardian, that status automatically terminates at 18.

Emotional Challenges of the Transition
Be prepared that when the day finally comes that your child turns 18, there may well be a tornado of emotions that will come on very suddenly.  I know because I'm experiencing those emotions right now.  Here are just a few:

• Relief: After 14 years of court battles and constant struggles over my right to be present in my daughter's life, I am relieved that the legal fight is finally over. No more court dates or legal fees.
• Sadness but No Regrets: There is an ache in knowing that my daughter's childhood is over. When I let myself dwell on what I missed, I can feel resentment over the lost time and lost experiences. But if I am being honest with myself, the truth is that my limited time with her may have made me a better parent than I otherwise would have been. We often fail to appreciate daily experiences as the miracles they are because routine numbs us. Because my parenting time was more limited, I experienced my daughter's childhood with fresher eyes. I paid attention more, cherished each experience more than I might have if they had been daily occurrences. That awareness of the fleeting nature of childhood made me a more conscious parent—hopefully a better one. There is no Cats in the Cradle-style regret awaiting me. I cherished every moment while I had it. That was a blessing.
• Hope & Excitement: More than anything, I am excited. My daughter is no longer subject to orders telling her when she can see me—she gets to decide now. Our relationship is no longer dictated by lawyers or judges. We can finally move forward on our own terms. I get to know her as an adult, watch her make her own choices, and support her in ways that go beyond the boundaries of legal orders.

The Road Ahead: Building an Adult Relationship
The transition from custody battles to an adult relationship with your child is not automatic—it requires effort from both sides. Here are some ways to foster a strong relationship moving forward:

• Give Them Space: They are figuring out their independence. Be there for them, but don't force closeness.
• Respect Their Choices: You may not agree with every decision they make, but they are now responsible for their own path.
• Communicate Without Pressure: Instead of demanding time together, offer an open invitation. Let them come to you because they want to, not because a court order requires it.
• Acknowledge the Past, But Focus on the Future: If there was conflict in their upbringing, let them lead any discussions about it. The goal is to build a positive relationship moving forward.

Final Thoughts
If you are a parent in a custody battle, the idea of your child turning 18 may seem distant. But when the day comes, it hits hard. The legal system steps out of the picture, but your emotions don't. Parenting doesn't end—it just changes.
For me, today is a reminder that while I lost years I can never get back, I now have a future to build. No more orders, no more restrictions. Just a father and his daughter—free to define their relationship on their own terms.
And that, despite all the struggles, is something to celebrate.

If you’ve reached a Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA) in your Texas divorce or family law case, you might be wondering why it must still be drafted into a court order. After all, you already signed an agreement—so why does your attorney insist on taking the extra step (and charging additional fees) to get a formal order? Is this just duplication of effort, or is there a real legal reason behind it?

Let’s break it down by answering some common client questions.

1. If My MSA Is Binding, Why Do I Need a Court Order?
It’s true that a properly executed MSA is binding under Texas law (Texas Family Code § 153.0071 for custody cases and § 6.602 for divorce cases). This means that neither party can back out just because they changed their mind. However, an MSA itself is not a court order—it’s simply a contract between the parties that outlines how the case should be finalized.

Only a judge has the power to enter a legally enforceable order. The court order is what allows the government to enforce key provisions—such as child support, division of retirement accounts, and transfer of property—using legal mechanisms like wage garnishment, contempt, or qualified domestic relations orders (QDROs).

2. Isn’t the Court Required to Approve My MSA?
Yes, in most cases. A valid MSA must be approved by the court unless there’s a very limited exception (such as a serious endangerment to a child’s well-being). However, approving an MSA and turning it into an enforceable order are two different things.

The court still requires a formal order because the MSA does not contain the detailed legal language necessary for enforcement. For example:

An MSA might say, “Husband keeps the house and refinances within 90 days.”
A court order must include precise legal descriptions of the property, deadlines, and legal remedies if refinancing fails.
Without a court order, there’s no way for law enforcement or financial institutions to carry out these terms.

3. Why Can’t We Just Submit the MSA as the Final Order?
While the MSA lays out the parties’ agreement in broad strokes, a final decree of divorce or order in suit affecting the parent-child relationship (SAPCR) must be drafted with legally precise terms that comply with Texas law.

For example, an MSA might state:

“The parties shall share custody 50/50 according to a mutually agreed schedule.”

However, Texas law requires that a possession schedule be clearly defined—meaning the final order must spell out exact days, times, exchanges, and holiday schedules so it’s enforceable.

Similarly, financial provisions such as child support, retirement division, and debt allocations must include detailed legal language to be properly executed by banks, retirement plan administrators, or state enforcement agencies.

4. What Happens After the MSA Is Signed?
Once the MSA is signed, the following process takes place:

Step 1: Drafting the Final Order
One party’s attorney (usually the one who initiated the case) will draft a proposed order incorporating the MSA’s terms using precise legal language. The draft is then sent to the other party’s attorney for review.

Step 2: Entry by Agreement
If both sides agree on the wording of the order, the attorneys submit the order to the judge for signature without the need for a hearing. In many cases, this is a simple and efficient process.

Step 3: Entry by Hearing (If No Agreement)
If the parties disagree on how the MSA should be interpreted or refuse to sign off on the proposed order, one party can schedule an “entry hearing” where the judge reviews the MSA and determines what language should be included in the final order.

Step 4: Order is Signed by the Judge
Once the judge signs the order, it becomes the final, enforceable decree in the case. The parties must follow its terms, and enforcement actions can be taken if anyone fails to comply.

5. Do We Have to Follow the MSA Before the Court Order is Entered?
Yes. A properly executed MSA is binding upon signing, meaning both parties must act in good faith and follow its terms even before the final order is signed by the judge.

For example, if the MSA states that one parent will have primary custody or that one spouse will start making payments on a joint debt, they must honor those obligations unless and until the court rules otherwise.

However, because the MSA is not yet enforceable in the same way as a court order, legal disputes about compliance can arise before finalization—another reason why it’s crucial to get the order drafted and entered promptly.

6. Can Someone Try to Change the MSA Before the Court Order is Entered?
No—MSAs are meant to be final. If an MSA meets legal requirements, the court must enter an order that reflects its terms and cannot change the agreement just because one party later regrets it.

However, delays in drafting or entry can cause practical problems. If one party drags their feet or refuses to cooperate, the other party may need to request an entry hearing to push the case forward.

Final Thoughts: Don’t Skip This Step
While it may seem like extra work and cost, drafting the MSA into a court order is a necessary step in finalizing your case. Without a formal order, you risk:

✅ Difficulty enforcing the agreement
✅ Confusion over vague or missing terms
✅ Delays in closing financial accounts or dividing property
✅ The other party failing to follow through with no legal consequences

If you’ve signed an MSA, the next step is ensuring that your attorney efficiently drafts and submits a final order for entry. The sooner this is done, the sooner you can move forward with clarity and legal protection.