A tricky question that will eventually face anyone who is either going through, or has recently been in a Texas Divorce is when you should tell others about the break up. As we are looking at the beginning of the 2015-2016 school year, you may be wondering whether or when to tell your child’s school.
In this blog, we’ll answer that question along with other back to school tips for divorced or divorcing parents.
Informing Your Child’s School
Experts say that it is not necessary to jump ahead and tell the school until things are actually in motion. My general advice however, is to make your child’s school aware of the divorce once it has been finalized and a custody order has been put in place. If you have temporary orders, you may also need to inform the school once those orders are put in place. This becomes an even better idea if your custody case was or is a contentious one. Making sure the school is aware of the visitation schedule will help ensure your child goes home with the right parent on the right day.
However, in some cases, my advice moves beyond “it’s a good idea” to a very pointed and urgent admonishment that if you are involved in a case with a finding of family violence and a protective order, it is absolutely necessary to inform the school of the existence of the order. The school needs to know who and who does not have access to the child. Fortunately most schools are very aware of their responsibilities to keep your child safe. Bringing them a certified copy of your protective order is an excellent way to ensure they can do their job by clarifying their duties as it relates to your child.
General Parent Rights on Education
Fortunately most cases do not require that amount of vigilance. There are certain conservator rights that are usually granted to both parents in the bulk of all cases, although a Texas court may limit them if it is warranted for some reason. Many of these relate to schools. Unless the court specifically ordered otherwise, under 153.073 of the Texas Family Code both parents have the right to receive educational information about their child and to have access to their child’s school records. Each parent can independently consult with school officials about their child’s educational and extracurricular activities. Each parent can attend school activates, and each parent has the right to be notified by the school in the case of an emergency.
If you have a standard custody order in Texas, or if you anticipate no reason the court would limit these educational right in your pending divorce or custody suit, then it is probably a good idea to let the school know what is going on. If the school knows you are living apart, they can take necessary steps such as sending home two copies of report cards, discipline reports, and the like. This will keep both parents in the loop and avoid any potential conflicts. And avoiding conflict will always save you emotional stress, time and potentially litigation costs.
When a divorce is on the horizon, many people will run out and retain an attorney and have that professional do all of the details on the case from the beginning to the end. But this may not be necessary in your case. Instead of retaining an attorney, in many cases it may be best to simply consult with an attorney and do the divorce on your own. If your situation warrants it, you CAN do your own divorce and this article will give you three excellent reasons why you should.
There is no doubt that divorce is a terrible thing to go through. For the thousands who experience it yearly, it is rarely without some pain. Aside from the emotional turmoil, the legal aspects are what create the most stress. Getting the right attorney is essential to reducing your stress- but too many folks think that the traditional reaction of immediately hiring an attorney on retainer is always necessary. I say "MAYBE NOT". If you have the right set of circumstances, it is entirely possible to get a divorce without RETAINING an attorney.- but instead taking charge of your own case by doing your own divorce. So here are three excellent reasons to do your own divorce:
#1: Taking Control of Your Divorce Case Can Be Very Empowering.
By the time many people are ready to get a divorce, they have been through the emotional wringer. Their self-esteem has been battered and their sense of control over their lives has been bruised. If they then go out and retain an attorney and direct him to take care of everything, there is a good chance that no matter how excellent a job the attorney does, the client will feel that their lives have been manipulated- yet again. Taking direct charge of the process of your divorce can be a great way to get back the control you feel you have lost in dealing with a failed marriage. If you feel you can think things through and make careful decisions about your divorce, you may find that doing so helps you get back your mojo.
#2: Involving An Attorney Can Be Like Pouring Gas On An Open Flame.
There are some attorneys who market themselves as "bulldog" attorneys. They prey on the fears of their clients by conducting a very aggressive and expensive legal campaign which in the end gains the client nothing more than they would have gotten through settlement and sometimes even gets them less. Aside from that kind of obvious legal combustible, there are a couple of other reasons that getting a lawyer can blow things up.
First, if you hire an attorney, that will encourage your spouse to "lawyer up" too. And even if you got a conscientious lawyer who is trying to settle the case on best terms for you, that doesn't mean your spouse's attorney won't be one of those "bulldog" types. If so, then your attorney will have to respond to all the nasty legal maneuvers that will do nothing but increase the cost of the divorce. You can best avoid this by not getting an attorney at all and trying to do this without "lawyering up".
Second, even if you both have ethical attorneys who are trying to keep the tension and the costs to a minimum, an attorney's involvement in a case will still complicate it far more than if you did it on your own. The reason is that attorneys are always worried about their own liability in a case. They are in constant fear that at the end of case, a client will sue them for being an ineffective attorney- for not doing all that could have been done to win the case. So if you want to shortcut or speed up some part of a case because you think it doesn't apply to your situation, then the lawyer will either push back or outright refuse to skip certain parts. Take discovery and valuation of property for example. This is the part of a divorce where attorneys send out formal demands for the value of all your property. Suppose you KNOW your spouse will not try to take your grandmother's tea set in the divorce. The attorney will still want to get an evaluation of it JUST IN CASE the issue goes to trial. You may be convinced it will not be an issue, but your lawyer is just doing his job if he prepares for the worst and demands an accounting of it. This will cost you money and complicates the case. If you are in control of your own divorce, then you can take this risk of not valuing all the property if you choose to.
#3. Doing Your Own Divorce Is Cheaper. Duh.
Lawyers are not cheap. Some are more expensive for good reason- they have expertise in certain aspects of divorce that took many years to come by. Some kinds of divorces need that expertise, but most cases don't require it and you are wasting your resources by buying all that.
Some lawyers are more expensive because they have high overhead- they like to surround themselves in large lavish offices and have all manner of assistants and staff that are not necessary in today's automated world. They jack up their bills to pay for all that and the free gourmet coffee you are offered at your first meeting with your lawyer will wind up costing you thousands extra at your last meeting with him.
Finally there are attorneys who demand outrageous rates and will nickle and dime you on every minor transaction because they are - well greedy. These type prey on the fact that most people aren't knowledgeable about the services an attorney offers and they don't shop around the way they would if it was any other kind of service. Many people shopping for an attorney will go with the first ad they see in the yellow pages or in the first listing on the internet. Believe me, if you want a good value in your legal services, go to the second page of listings in Google.The bottom line is that you don't have to retain an attorney. If your case is simple and you have basic agreements with your spouse and you are able and willing to stay in charge of your divorce and act as your own attorney (pro se) you can do much of the work yourself.
HOWEVER, even the simplest of divorces involve complex paperwork and court procedures that are different from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. People may not need a full service law firm for most of their divorce, but most people attempting to do their own divorce would be foolish not to at least have the consultation of a licensed attorney to give them advice when things get complicated. Books and automated forms on the internet are usually NOT adequate to the task of getting all the paperwork done right the first. If you rely on those you will probably do it wrong and wind up wasting hundreds of dollars and many hours or your time.
If you attempt to do your own divorce, you should seek the advice of an experienced divorce attorney who is willing to provide "unbundled" services. These attorneys will do those parts of your case that are too complicated and offer consultation on those parts you can do on your own. This is an innovative way of offering services that just might be the best for your situation.
If you have any questions about unbundled divorces, you can check out my firm's website at www.mydivorcefirm.com for more information.
Attorney Sean Y. Palmer has over 20 years of legal experience as a Texas Attorney and over 25 years as a Qualified Mediator in civil, family and CPS cases. Palmer practices exclusively in the area Family Law and handles Divorce, Child Custody, Child Support, Adoptions, and other Family Law Litigation cases. He represents clients throughout the greater Houston Galveston area, including: Clear Lake, NASA, Webster, Friendswood, Seabrook, League City, Galveston, Texas City, Dickinson, La Porte, La Marque, Clear Lake Shores, Bacliff, Kemah, Pasadena, Baytown, Deer Park, Harris County, and Galveston County, Texas.
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