In most divorces, people assume the conflict starts with a legal filing. But research and clinical observation suggest that the true beginning lies deeper—when one person feels unseen, dismissed, or devalued. That moment—when ego and self-worth come under threat—often determines whether a divorce becomes a process of resolution or an ongoing war.

Ego Strength, Self-Worth, and Adjustment After Divorce
Psychologists use the term ego strength to describe an individual’s ability to maintain a stable sense of self-worth under stress. It’s a person’s inner resilience against humiliation and rejection. When that ego strength is low, the person tends to respond defensively—by lashing out, withdrawing, or escalating conflict.

In one early study on this subject, Rutledge-Drake (1990) examined how ego strength and cognitive style affected adjustment to divorce and found that individuals with higher ego strength experienced greater emotional stability and problem-solving ability during separation (Rutledge-Drake). In short, the people who could tolerate feelings of inadequacy were less likely to let those emotions govern their decisions.

Subsequent studies have reinforced this concept. In one longitudinal study, researchers found that adult women who experienced divorce and demonstrated higher levels of emotional adjustment also showed measurable growth in ego development over time (Bursik 300–306). This finding suggests that ego strength is not a fixed trait; rather, it can expand through adversity. Those who successfully adapted to divorce displayed greater psychological maturity and resilience afterward.

In practical terms, this means that the sharpest conflicts in divorce are rarely about money or property. They’re about self-worth. When one partner feels devalued, even small disagreements become symbolic battles for dignity. Understanding this allows divorcing spouses—and their attorneys—to de-escalate emotionally charged situations.

Instead of viewing every negotiation as a transaction, it helps to recognize that the other side may be protecting a threatened sense of identity. Acknowledging that dynamic in tone and language, even while standing firm legally, often cools the temperature of the case. That’s not just compassion; it’s strategy. As Bursik’s work implies, strengthening ego and self-awareness improves adjustment—and in the legal realm, that translates into faster, less destructive outcomes (Bursik 305).

This means that many of the emotional explosions that occur in family courtrooms are not truly about assets or child schedules; they are manifestations of wounded ego.  And when clients say things like “She never respected how hard I worked” or “He never appreciated everything I sacrificed,” what they’re really expressing is a threat to self-worth. Once that identity injury occurs, logic takes a back seat. Each spouse begins defending not just a legal claim but their own dignity.

The Conflict Cycle: How Devaluation Fuels Divorce
Decades of research into relationship breakdown—particularly the work of John Gottman—show that destructive communication patterns such as criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling predict divorce with striking accuracy (Gottman). Each of these behaviors represents a different form of ego defense. Criticism attacks identity; contempt asserts superiority; defensiveness denies responsibility; and stonewalling withdraws to avoid vulnerability.

In legal negotiations, these same patterns appear in more formal clothing. A spouse who feels ignored may reject reasonable settlement offers because those offers symbolize continued disregard. Another may file unnecessary motions simply to reassert control. The legal system becomes a stage on which ego battles are performed at great cost.

Understanding this psychology helps explain why divorce cases can spiral long after the major issues are resolved. The conflict persists because the emotional need—to be seen, respected, or vindicated—remains unmet.

Empirical Links Between Ego and Divorce
While few studies address “ego conflict” in divorce directly, related research supports the premise that identity and self-worth play major roles. McDermott et al. (2013) found that divorce behavior is significantly influenced by social network factors, including how individuals perceive themselves within their networks—a function of ego and identity maintenance (McDermott et al.).

Another study on marital locus of control showed that individuals who believe they have little personal control over relationship outcomes—often correlating with lower self-efficacy—report higher dissatisfaction and greater likelihood of separation (Doherty- 1983). This supports the idea that when individuals feel powerless or devalued, they disengage or retaliate rather than collaborate.

Collectively, these findings confirm what family lawyers see daily: divorce is as much about the preservation of self as it is about the division of assets.

Translating Psychology into Legal Practice
Recognizing that ego and self-worth drive much of the conflict allows both clients and attorneys to take a more strategic, less reactive approach. The goal is not to psychoanalyze the opposing party but to manage the dynamics that exacerbate hostility.

1. Recognize the real battle.
Legal disputes are rarely just about money. They’re about validation. If you understand that the other person is protecting their sense of worth, you can communicate in ways that acknowledge that need without surrendering your legal position.

2. Avoid feeding the ego war.
Every angry text or sarcastic remark fuels the perception of disrespect. Research on ego strength suggests that those who respond reflectively rather than reactively fare better emotionally and financially during divorce (Rutledge-Drake). In practice, that means letting your attorney handle inflammatory communications rather than replying in kind.

3. Protect dignity through the process.
Courts can divide property, but they can’t restore dignity. Negotiations framed with even minimal respect tend to conclude faster and with less long-term resentment. Acknowledge the other party’s contributions—without conceding legal fault—and you remove much of the emotional charge that drives litigation.

4. Anticipate emotional triggers.
Knowing your spouse’s sensitivities allows you to frame proposals more effectively. A purely financial offer to someone who feels discarded may be perceived as insult rather than fairness. In mediation, coupling terms with recognition (“I understand that you invested a lot of time in the family and I want to make sure that’s reflected”) can make negotiation smoother.

5. Manage your own ego posture.
The instinct to “win” can be self-destructive. Studies on ego resilience emphasize the importance of flexibility and self-regulation. Being willing to compromise is not weakness—it’s a display of control. Those who insist on complete vindication often pay the highest emotional and financial price.

Two Illustrative Cases
In one case, a client was fixated on proving moral superiority. He wanted to catalog every slight, every instance of disrespect. Legally, he was entitled to a favorable outcome. But his fixation made the process bitter and protracted, and by the time the decree was signed, he felt hollow. His ego had won, but his peace was gone.

In another case, a client approached the process differently. She told her estranged spouse through counsel, “I know this situation has made you feel like what you gave to our marriage wasn’t seen. That’s not how I feel, and I want this to end fairly for both of us.” That statement cost her nothing—but it reset the emotional tone. The other party stopped fighting for recognition and started negotiating on the merits. The case settled quickly.

These examples illustrate what the research predicts: when the ego feels acknowledged, conflict loses momentum.

Conclusion
Divorce is a legal process built on human psychology. The studies on ego strength and self-worth reveal that the first battle of divorce is not fought in court—it’s fought in the mind. When one spouse feels devalued, every legal step becomes an emotional defense. But when dignity is preserved, even difficult divorces can proceed with civility and finality.

So if you find yourself heading toward separation, ask this before you act: Am I trying to solve the problem, or am I trying not to feel small?

Your answer may determine not just the outcome of your case, but your peace afterward.

Works Cited
Bursik, Karen. “Adaptation to Divorce and Ego Development in Adult Women.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, vol. 60, no. 2, 1991, pp. 300–306.

Doherty, William J. “The Impact of Divorce on Locus of Control Orientation in Adult Women.” Journal of Divorce, vol. 7, no. 2, 1983, pp. 75–86.

Gottman, John M. Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last. Simon & Schuster, 1994.
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McDermott, Robert, et al. “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do, Unless Everyone Else Is Doing It Too: Social Network Effects on Divorce in a Longitudinal Sample.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, vol. 110, no. 5, 2013, pp. 1660–1666.

Rutledge-Drake, Linda. “Ego Strength, Cognitive Style, and Adjustment to Divorce.” Texas Tech University, 1990.
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Starting September 1, 2025, a new law--Texas House Bill 1973—will change the way parents and families file cases involving children in Texas courts. This law amends Texas Family Code § 102.008, which governs the filing of a Suit Affecting the Parent-Child Relationship (SAPCR).
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If you are beginning a case about custody, visitation, child support, or other parent–child issues, you will now be required to submit a certified copy of your child’s birth certificate at the time you file.

This new requirement is important for anyone considering family litigation in Texas, so let’s break it down.

What the New Law Requires

1. Certified Birth Certificate Must Be Filed
   • When you file a SAPCR, you must include a certified copy of the child’s birth certificate.
   • This document must be filed under seal and kept separate from the other court papers.
   • This means it will not be part of the public case file and will be protected from public view.
2. Alternative Proof Allowed if Needed
   • If a certified copy is not available or if the certificate doesn’t list both parents, the judge may ask for other proof of parentage, such as hospital records or an acknowledgment of paternity.
   • These documents will also be kept confidential.
3. Exceptions for State Cases
   • If the case is brought by the Texas Attorney General’s Office (such as a child support enforcement case), this requirement does not apply.

Why Did Texas Make This Change?
The Legislature passed HB 1973 to make sure courts have accurate, official proof of a child’s identity and parentage from the very beginning of a case.
This has several benefits for families:

• Accuracy: Ensures there’s no confusion about the child who is the subject of the case.
• Efficiency: Reduces disputes later in the process about names, dates of birth, or parentage.
• Privacy: By requiring the document to be filed under seal, it protects children’s sensitive information from appearing in public court records.

What This Means for Families Going to Court
If you plan to file a custody, visitation, or support case after September 1, 2025, you should:

• Obtain a certified copy of your child’s birth certificate before filing.
• Work with your attorney to make sure it is filed correctly--under seal and separately from your petition.
• Be prepared that the court may ask for the document before your case can move forward.

If you don’t have a certified copy yet, don’t panic—there are clear ways to get one.

How to Get a Certified Birth Certificate in Texas
In Texas, certified copies are issued by the Texas Department of State Health Services (DSHS) or by local county clerk/city registrar offices. Here are your main options:

1. Order Online
   • Visit the official Texas.gov Vital Records portal.
   • This is usually the fastest option. You will need to prove your identity and your relationship to the child.
2. In Person at a Local Office
   • Many county clerk and city registrar offices can issue certified copies for births in Texas.
   • In some locations, you can get the certificate the same day you apply.
   • The fee is usually around $23 per copy.
3. By Mail
   • You can submit a request by mail using a DSHS form.
   • Standard processing may take 6–8 weeks, while expedited requests can take about 3–4 weeks.

Who Can Order a Certificate?
Only certain people are allowed to order a certified copy:

• The person named on the birth certificate, if an adult.
• A parent or immediate family member.
• A legal guardian or legal representative (such as an attorney with proper authorization).

If the Child Was Born Outside TexasYou will need to request a certified copy from the state or country where the child was born. Each state has its own process, and the CDC Vital Records directory lists where to apply.

What Happens if You Don’t Have It When You File?
The new law allows a judge to ask another party to provide the birth certificate during the case. However, waiting can cause delays. The best practice is to get the certified copy in hand before filing so your case is not slowed down.

Takeaway for ParentsIf you are planning to file a custody, visitation, or child support case in Texas, be aware that starting September 1, 2025, you will need a certified copy of your child’s birth certificate.
Our firm can help guide you through:

• Obtaining the birth certificate if you don’t already have one,
• Making sure it is filed properly under seal, and
• Protecting your family’s privacy throughout the process.

At The Palmer Law Firm, we stay ahead of changes like HB 1973 so our clients don’t have to worry about surprises. If you are considering filing a case involving your child, call us at 832-819-3529 or visit us at 550 N. Egret Bay Blvd, League City, TX to schedule a consultation.

Infidelity is one of the most devastating breaches of trust in a marriage. While every relationship has its struggles, cheating crosses a line that undermines the very foundation of the marital commitment. Yet, those caught cheating often scramble to explain away their behavior. Understanding why people rationalize infidelity can help spouses in League City, Friendswood, Clear Lake, Galveston, and Harris County, Texas see the situation more clearly—and decide how to move forward.
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What Is Cognitive Dissonance?
At the heart of many excuses for cheating lies a psychological phenomenon known as cognitive dissonance. Coined by psychologist Leon Festinger in the 1950s, cognitive dissonance describes the mental discomfort people feel when they hold two conflicting beliefs or behaviors at the same time .
For example:

• Belief: “I’m a good, loyal spouse.”
• Behavior: “I cheated on my spouse.”

The tension between those two creates discomfort. To reduce that discomfort, the cheating spouse may invent justifications, excuses, or rationalizations so they can continue to see themselves as a “good person” despite their harmful actions.

Ten Common Excuses for Cheating
Here are ten of the most frequently heard rationalizations from unfaithful partners, along with a breakdown of why they fail:

1. “I wasn’t happy in my marriage.”
   Unhappiness doesn’t justify betrayal. Problems should be addressed through communication, counseling, or, if necessary, divorce—not infidelity.
2. “It just happened.”
   Affairs don’t just fall out of the sky. They involve choices, often repeated ones, to cross boundaries and deceive.
3. “My spouse stopped meeting my needs.”
   No spouse can meet every emotional or physical need all the time. Cheating is a decision to avoid honest discussion or counseling.
4. “I needed an escape from stress.”
   Stress is part of adult life. Turning to infidelity as a coping mechanism only creates greater long-term damage.
5. “It was only physical—it didn’t mean anything.”
   Whether physical or emotional, cheating is still a betrayal. The intent to deceive undermines the bond of trust.
6. “I was drunk.”
   Alcohol may impair judgment, but it doesn’t erase responsibility. Choosing to drink to excess is itself a decision.
7. “Everyone does it.”
   This is the classic bandwagon excuse. In truth, most people do not cheat—and even if they did, that wouldn’t make it right.
8. “I didn’t think I would get caught.”
   This reveals selfishness rather than remorse. Marriage vows are not conditional on the likelihood of discovery.
9. “It was just online flirting/texting.”
   Digital affairs may not involve physical contact, but they still breach trust and can be just as damaging emotionally.
10. “I was lonely.”
    Loneliness can be real, even within a marriage. But healthy options—open communication, therapy, community—exist without resorting to betrayal.

Why There Is Never an Excuse
All of these justifications are attempts to ease cognitive dissonance by shifting blame or minimizing harm. But the truth is simple: cheating is always a fundamental breach of the marital agreement unless both partners have explicitly agreed otherwise.

In Texas, adultery remains a recognized ground for divorce under the Texas Family Code . While courts sometimes view adultery claims with skepticism or give them limited weight in property division, it can still be a real and viable legal basis for ending a marriage. Judges may consider adultery when dividing community property, potentially awarding a disproportionate share to the innocent spouse .
Conclusion: No Excuses for Cheating

If you believe your spouse is cheating and the betrayal has ended the legitimate foundation of your marriage, it is important to know your rights. Counseling may not always be a solution, especially when trust is permanently broken.

At The Palmer Law Firm, we believe there are no excuses for infidelity. Adultery is a betrayal not just of trust, but of the legal and emotional bond of marriage.  If you’ve been unfaithful, admitting your mistake and stopping the excuses is the first step to moving forward. And if you’re being falsely accused of cheating, you shouldn’t have to carry that burden alone. Either way, adultery does not automatically decide property, custody, or support outcomes in Texas. At The Palmer Law Firm, we provide strong, fair representation—whether you need guidance through the fallout of infidelity or defense against false allegations—to ensure your side is heard and your future is protected.

👉 Call The Palmer Law Firm today for a free consultation if you live in League City, Friendswood, Clear Lake, or anywhere in Harris or Galveston County, Texas, and infidelity is leading to divorce. We’ll discuss your options, protect your rights, and help you move forward with dignity and strength.

Divorce can be a tough process, but did you know that you might be able to bring certain tort claims alongside your divorce suit in Texas? The Texas Family Code and common law provide a range of tort claims that can address various wrongful acts. Here are some examples of torts that can be brought in a divorce case, along with hypothetical scenarios to help illustrate how they might come into play.
Invasion of Privacy
Imagine Jane discovers that her husband, John, has been secretly recording her private conversations without her consent. This could be considered an invasion of privacy. In Texas, this tort can be brought forward in a divorce case if one spouse's privacy is violated.
Physical Abuse
Let's say Sarah files for divorce because her husband, Mike, has been physically abusive. Physical beatings and abuse are serious issues, and victims can seek justice through a tort claim in their divorce case. This not only addresses the abuse but also helps protect the victim's rights and well-being.
Transmission of a Venereal Disease
Consider a situation where Lisa learns she contracted a sexually transmitted disease from her husband, Tom, who was unfaithful during their marriage. Lisa can bring a tort claim for the transmission of a venereal disease as part of her divorce proceedings.

Fraud on the Community/Waste
Imagine Mark discovers that his wife, Emily, has been secretly spending large sums of their community money on personal luxuries, depleting their joint assets. This is considered fraud on the community or waste. Mark can seek reimbursement for the unjust depletion of their community estate through a tort claim.

Interference with Child Custody
Suppose David's wife, Laura, consistently prevents him from seeing their children, violating their custody arrangement. David can bring a tort claim for interference with child custody or possession, seeking legal recourse to enforce his parental rights.

Conversion of Separate Property
Picture Alex finds out that his spouse, Jordan, has sold his separately owned car without his permission and kept the money. This is conversion of separate property. Alex can bring a tort claim to recover the value of his sold property.

Intentional Infliction of Emotional DistressIf Maria's husband, Sam, engages in extreme and outrageous conduct that causes her severe emotional distress—like threatening her life or publicly humiliating her—Maria can bring a tort claim for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Remedies for Fraud on the Community
Fraud on the community isn’t an independent tort but is addressed within the Texas Family Code. When one spouse fraudulently depletes the community estate, the court can calculate the amount lost and reconstitute the estate. Remedies may include a disproportionate share of the remaining community property or a money judgment.

Pursuing Separate Tort Claims
When seeking separate tort claims, it’s essential to avoid double recovery. For example, if you bring a tort claim for intentional infliction of emotional distress, you might receive a disproportionate share of the community estate or a monetary award, but not both for the same wrongful act. Additionally, egregious behavior might warrant punitive damages, so consider this when deciding on the type of claim to pursue.

The Impact of Res Judicata
Res judicata means you can’t relitigate claims that were or should have been raised in the initial lawsuit. If you allege cruel treatment to seek a larger share of the estate, make sure to include all related tort claims. Failure to do so may prevent you from bringing those claims later.

Navigating the intersection of torts and divorce can be complex. Whether it's invasion of privacy, physical abuse, fraud on the community, or other wrongful acts, understanding your rights and potential claims is crucial. Always consult with a knowledgeable attorney to explore your options and ensure you receive the justice you deserve.

In Texas, a spouse's bonus can significantly impact the financial discussions during a divorce. These bonuses may be awarded by an employer to recognize an employee-spouse's dedication and hard work, and can range from annual bonuses to stock options and performance-based awards. The critical question often arises in divorce proceedings: Is the bonus considered marital property to be divided, or is it the separate property of the spouse who earned it?

Understanding Marital vs. Separate Property in Texas
Under Texas law, marital property includes all assets and debts accumulated during the marriage, except for gifts, inheritances, and certain types of personal injury claims. Separate property refers to assets or debts one spouse brought into the marriage or acquired after the marriage ends, with some exceptions. This distinction is crucial when determining how bonuses are treated in a divorce settlement.

How Courts Evaluate Bonuses
The classification of a bonus—whether it's marital or separate property—depends significantly on the specifics of the bonus arrangement. There's no standard bonus structure; they can be contingent on various factors like sales metrics, company profitability, or specific achievements like a successful public offering or acquisition.

In cases where a bonus is under consideration, Texas courts need to evaluate several factors:

• The timing of the bonus's vesting and payment
• The conditions under which the bonus was granted
• The employee's ability to meet these conditions independently
• The contribution of the marriage to the employee's ability to earn the bonus

For example, if a sales manager at a software company in Texas is awarded stock options based on past and expected future performance, a court will consider how much of that performance overlaps with the marriage. If the options vest during the marriage and are contingent on sales targets achieved during the marriage, they might be considered marital property.

Hypothetical Bonus Scenarios
Consider a local executive who expects an annual bonus based on performance reviews. If a divorce judgment is entered in September, and the bonus is paid annually, a court might decide that a substantial part of the bonus is marital property. The exact split will depend on the couple's marital duration within the bonus year. For instance, if the couple was married for nine of the twelve months, 75% of the bonus might be deemed marital property, with the remaining 25% as separate property.

However, Texas family courts are guided by principles of equity, meaning that the division isn't always a simple split. Courts might consider additional factors like each spouse's economic needs, contributions to the marriage, and any misconduct affecting the marital estate.

The Importance of Legal Representation
Given the complexities involved in classifying and dividing bonuses in divorce, having an experienced family law attorney is crucial. An attorney can help navigate the intricate details of bonus agreements and advocate for a fair division of these assets based on the unique circumstances of your case.  With the right legal guidance, parties can ensure that their financial interests are protected during the division of assets in a Texas divorce.

In the intricate landscape of divorce, few assets bear as much emotional and financial weight as the family residence. For many clients, the family home is not just a building; it’s a tapestry of memories, emotions, and financial investments. It's the center of family life, a symbol of stability, and often, the largest asset in marital property. Recognizing and addressing the multifaceted nature of this asset is crucial in any divorce settlement.


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The Threefold Nature of Residential Issues in Divorce

When dissecting the complexities of the family residence, we can identify three core areas of concern: use, disposition, and tax implications.

1. Use Issues: These concerns revolve around the interim use of the home from separation to settlement. They encompass who lives in the house, who manages it, debt responsibilities, access to belongings, and sometimes, child-related considerations.

2. Disposition Issues: This area focuses on the ultimate fate of the residence in the divorce settlement. Typically, outcomes include selling the property to a third party, one spouse retaining it, or both parties agreeing to co-own it for a period, often until a child reaches a milestone like high school graduation.

3. Tax Issues: Tax implications straddle both use and disposition. They involve potential deductions for mortgage interest and property taxes, which affect temporary support calculations. When it comes to selling or transferring the property, understanding capital gains or losses is critical for an informed decision-making process.

Strategic Benefits of Categorization

Approaching the family residence topic by categorizing these aspects serves multiple strategic purposes:

• Organizational Clarity: It helps structure asset and liability information, making it easier for parties to understand the situation, identify areas needing more information, and recognize when professional advice (from accountants, appraisers, or attorneys) is necessary.
• Reframing the Dialogue: Often, clients enter mediation after unsuccessful negotiation attempts, marked by frustration and stalemates. By categorizing these issues, mediators can guide parties towards a more constructive and solution-focused conversation. This approach not only brings clarity but also encourages cooperation in developing new strategies to overcome the impasse.

In conclusion, addressing the family residence in divorce requires a nuanced understanding of its emotional significance, financial value, and the legal implications. By breaking down the issues into manageable categories and reframing the conversation, mediators and attorneys can guide clients towards more effective and satisfying resolutions.

​Whether or not you should move out before filing for divorce depends on your individual situation. There are pros and cons to each option and the right decision varies greatly depending on you particular situation.  For example, if you are seeking custody of your children, leaving the home without them will put you in a significant disadvantage when the actual custody proceedings begin.  However, If you're experiencing conflict or abuse in the home, moving out may be necessary for your safety and wellbeing. In such cases, you may want to seek a protective order from the court to ensure your safety. 

​On the other hand again, moving out before filing for divorce could impact your legal rights and obligations related to property division, and spousal support. If you move out and your spouse stays in the marital home for longer than a year, it could be interpreted as abandonment, which could weaken your legal position in the divorce proceedings.  It's best to consult with a qualified family law attorney to understand the implications of moving out before filing for divorce in your jurisdiction.

If you are finalizing your divorce soon, you'll want to pay attention!  HB 3772 has passed and has changed the law on final decrees of divorce in Texas. 

Starting September 1, 2021 there is an additional requirement that must be included in your final decree.  All final decrees in the State of Texas must now include the date of marriage.

Texas Family Code 6.712 states:
(a) In a suit for dissolution of a marriage in which the court grants a divorce, the court shall state the date of the marriage in the decree of divorce.

 However, this requirement is not required in the case of divorces of informal marriages ("common law marriages").  The new law provides:

(b) this section does not apply to a suit for dissolution of a marriage described by section 2.401(a)(2).

If you are experiencing a League City Divorce or need to consult with a League City attorney for any other family law related matter, feel free to reach out to us.

​-Sean

For the first time since December 20, fewer than 10,000 Texans are hospitalized with COVID-19 according to the Texas Tribune.  However, the current number of 9,401 Texans hospitalized, and the emergence in Texas of new, highly contagious strains signals the grim reality that it will long time before things will return to normal.

As the COVID crisis lingers, it's effect on people's lives, especially those trying to manage children between two homes, grows increasingly burdensome.   For those who have family law disputes, the challenges are increasing as the COVID crisis lingers into its second year.  Here are the top three problems that our firm has experienced with our clients:

1. Job Loss Affecting Child Support Payments
One of the most obvious and direct impacts to daily life due to the COVID crisis is how it has hurt family income.  As more small businesses flounder and shut down, job losses in Texas are climbing steadily.  Separated and divorced parents are often already struggling to make ends meet, but as the COVID crisis endures, they will see savings dry up and soon existing child support payments may slow or stop. 

Courts in the Houston and Galveston areas remain sensitive to parents in this situation but are proceeding with child support enforcement case as normal.  They are issuing contempt orders as readily as before, and it is incumbent on the parent ordered to pay support to approach the Court early about having their child support obligation reduced if they are experiencing financial difficulty due to COVID related job loss or reduction in hours.  Failure by the payer to seek to have the previous order modified- even if temporarily - may result in contempt actions being brought by either the obligee or the Texas Attorney General.   And despite the understanding the Courts may grant the obligor in these extraordinary times,  it should be noted that the Courts have not abandoned the expectation that parents must supply evidence of their particular financial challenges or economic hardships.  It's recommended that parents seek legal counsel to assist them.  Many lawyers, such as our firm, offer affordable limited scope services to help in this situation.

2. Changes in Living Conditions
For many Texas families, the day to day physical living conditions and circumstances have been negatively impacted by the lingering COVID crisis.

In a recent divorce case, the father sought the immediate sale of the marital home where the mother and the two children were still living.  The father, an optometrist, claimed that the COVID crisis had reduced his income by half, and as the sole wage earner, he could no longer afford to pay the mortgage and costs for the couple's large home.  The mother counter-argued that the father chose to keep his practice closed longer than necessary and that COVID restrictions had been lifted.

The Court reviewed the larger financial situation of the couple and ordered the immediate sale of the home and temporary support payments for the mother for her to rent a smaller house.  The Court declared that "COVID-19 has at least temporarily ruined the financial prospects of both of these parties.  And neither of them is to blame."

3. In-person vs. Online Learning 
Many if not most Texas schools offer two options for children to attend school- traditional attendance at the school ("brick and mortar") or virtual learning using software and the internet ("online").  However, when parents do not agree on what is best for the children- as often happens during and after divorces- then disputes arise that often wind up in court.
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In a different recent divorce case, a temporary order directed the mother would be the temporary primary caregiver of the children and the father would have weekend visitations through the divorce proceedings.  It also directed that the children should be taught virtually.  The mother, although not working herself and being supported financially by the husband, was not satisfied with the temporary order because she wanted the kids in school.  After the temporary hearing, the mother shut off her internet service- which she calculated she could do because it was not specifically prohibited by the Court.  Without internet access the kids could not attend school virtually.  The father was soon alerted to the situation and took the mother back to court.  At the emergency hearing the mother pressed to explain her actions and their impact on the children's education.  The mother "mostly deflec[ed]" and stated the children's educational needs were being met otherwise.  The Court ultimately ordered the mother to immediately provide internet and all necessary equipment for the children to attend school virtually.  The Court also admonished the mother that if she again attempted to thwart the order, then primary care would be given to the father. 

In Summary
The COVID crisis has been with us for over a year and it seems we have a long way to go before things return to normal.  The long length of this crisis is having trickle-down effects on separated and divorced families in many ways.  These result is an increase in conflicts where often the only resolution is to seek relief from the courts with the help of an experienced family law attorney. 

​If you have experienced any of these issues, or you if you think there are other issues that are more widely experienced that the ones we have listed, we invite your comments below.

 Nobody gets married with the intention of getting a divorce, but for about half of us, divorce is the ultimate end to a marriage.  The latest data show that in Texas there are 2.6 divorces per thousand people- this is down significantly from the peak of 5.5 in 1990, but still represents approximately 75,000 divorces!  And this rate has been steady for several years. Everyone knows that everything is bigger in Texas.  This apparently includes divorces.  ​

A big decision needs to be made early on in a divorce case- who will take care of the kids?  Separated or newly divorced parents have to make tough decisions about child care in the best of times, but with the spread of the coronavirus, those choices are harder than ever.  As our Texas Governor moves forward with re-opening the economy, more parents are returning to work.  This has made child care decisions more urgent -and desperate-for millions of Texans.

Child care options are decreasing
Most single parents with minor children need to work during the day.  In the pre-pandemic days, one common option for many was to have grandparents watch the children while the primary care parent works.  However, not every parent is blessed with this as an option.  And now, with the spread of the Covid-19 virus and it's high death rate among the elderly, many people who did have this option are now not willing to risk the lives of their own parents by exposing them to grandchildren who  often do not display symptoms of Covid-19 and can infect their unwitting grandparents with the virus.

​The usual option, if relatives are not available, is to rely on private daycare.  But many parents are worried that they will be putting their children at risk by taking them to a daycare center during a pandemic. This fear is spurred by news that Texas has just experienced one of  it's most infectious and deadly weeks for Covid-19.

State data shows an increase in coronavirus cases stemming from both large gatherings and child care centers. The state reported 576 positive cases of the coronavirus — 382 staff members and 194 children — in child care facilities as of this week. That’s up from 59 cases in mid-May. 

Are Daycare Facilities Safe?  Little Guidance from the Government.
Of those facilities that remain open, even at limited capacity, the State's response to the fears of contaminating kids in daycare has been muddled, to say the least.

Just two weeks ago, the government surrendered all existing regulation of safety measures at state-licensed child care centers.  As of mid-June they  were no longer required to comply with a list of safety precautions that had been in effect since mid-April. That meant centers could decide for themselves if they wanted to check staff temperatures, require parents to drop off their children outside or stop serving family-style meals, according to a previous notice from the state Health and Human Services Commission.

Then, in an apparent reversal this week, Gov. Greg Abbott directed a state health agency to enact new safety standards for child care centers during the coronavirus.  However those new standards have not yet been published.

To make matters less clear, individual county and municipal authorities in Texas have been sending mixed messages to citizens about how their local government plans to respond to the recent deadly spike in infections.  In Harris County, which includes the City of Houston, Judge Lina Hidalgo has announced plans to mandate masks and return to the stay-at-home conditions imposed this Spring.  Meanwhile in neighboring Galveston County, which includes more suburban and semi-rural /industrial areas, Judge Mark Henry has defiantly announced that he won't issue any new government restrictions and said people must rely on their own personal responsibility to stay free from infection.   

Ultimately, Parents Must Find Daycare Options and Judge Facility Safety On Their Own 
Experts say that daycare is a key piece to reopening the U.S. economy.  If a single parent must go back to work and has no other child care options, then choosing among the remaining daycare facilities that remain open in the area may be the only choice.  But without clear government guidance, selecting the safest daycare facility for your child is a daunting challenge. 

That is why we are offering a checklist of the most important, researched questions to ask a daycare facility before you enroll your child.  The checklist is based on expert recommendations and can help you determine if a child care, daycare or daycamp facility is coronavirus ready.  No facility can guarantee your child will be 100% safe from infection, but download this free checklist and bring it with you when you visit the facility or ask questions from it when on the phone.  Researched from the CDC and other experts, this question checklist will help you pick the safest daycare facility.  The Palmer Law Firm is offering this checklist as a free public service.  

To download the Daycare Safety Checklist.  Please click HERE.

 Alright then.  The first thing to understand is that the court begins with the idea that your property should be divided "fairly and equitably".  (Keep in mind this DOES NOT necessarily mean 50/50).  So if you want more than fair, it becomes your job to prove to the court that you deserve more than fair.

You likely need to tell the court in your first paperwork (called a "Petition") that you are claiming one of the 28 different factors that the court can consider in deciding whether to grant a disproportionate division of what you earned during the marriage (a.k.a. "community property").  You will have to plead that one of these things changed the normal presumption of equal division to your favor.  You need justify why you should get the lion's share of the property by claiming one or more of the following: 

1.  Husband was at fault in the breakup of the marriage;

2.  You would have received benefits from the continuation of the marriage;

3.  He earns much more than you;

4.  Your health is worse than his;

5.  You got the children so you should get more property to help pay for them;

6.  Your children's needs are great;

7.  Your education is less than his and/or your prospects for the future are lower;

8.  You are less employable than him;

9.  There is a lot of marriage debt;

10.  The division of property will put more tax burden on you;

11.  The differences in you ages is great;

12.  The earning power, business opportunities and abilities favor your husband;

13.  You need future support;

14.  The kind of property to be divided means it would be fair for you to get more;

15.  Your husband wasted your community property;

16.  You husband doesn't deserve any credit for temporary support he paid you;

17.  Your husband used community funds to pay for out of state property;

18.  Your husband decreased your community property because he gave unreasonably valuable gifts during the marriage;

19.  You can show that your efforts (time, talent, labor) unduly increased your husband's separate property (which the court has no power to divide) and you should be compensated;

20.  Your husband gave so much of your community property away to his separate estate or to the children that it was unreasonable and should be compensated;

21.  The community estate should be compensated;

22.  Your husband is expecting a large inheritance;

23.  You should have more money to pay for attorney's fees;

24.  You used up your separate property to create community property;

25.  The size and nature of your separate property is much less than his;

26.  You disproportionately created community property by your own efforts, whereas he did not;

27.  He committed fraud (lied) that put you in a worse financial position than you otherwise would be in;

28.  His actions amounted to fraud, even if he didn't technically lied that put you in a worse financial position than you otherwise would be in. 

These are called to Murff Factors after the original case:  Murff v. Murff, 615 S.W.2d696,698 (Tex.1981).

It should be noted that requested a disproportionate share of the community property will eventually require you to prove your allegations.  Claiming something is easy.  Proving it is another matter.  If you want a disproportionate property division, you probably will need an experienced lawyer to help you with this.