1. View yourself as temporarily broke rather than permanently poor.
When you are in a stressful economic circumstance, it is important to view this as a temporary situation. View yourself as temporarily broke, not permanently poor. To see yourself as “poor” implies a permanent state; a hopeless condition in which you are doomed for the rest of your life. To be “broke”, on the other hand, implies that your situation is temporary and that you have the intelligence and capacities to bounce back and improve your economic condition.
You must shift your thinking to believing you are not a victim and to begin searching for ways to overcome your current circumstance.
2. Let go of the blame.
To improve your situation, you need to let go of the blame you place on your ex-spouse or soon-to-be-ex-spouse for the scary economic situation you're in. It doesn't help you improve your situation to spend your time focusing on your Ex. Instead, focus on what you can do with your own capacities and abilities to emerge from the economic hole you are in. Blame only saps your power and gives your weaker impulses an excuse to do nothing- which you know will get you nothing.
When you begin to see yourself as an activator of new economic possibilities rather than a passive recipient of misfortune, positive things can begin to happen.
3. Cut costs.
Taking charge of your situation begins with assertive action. Create a new budget for yourself. Look at your expenses and eliminate or reduce. This may be painful at first, but you will quickly adapt. Begin with expenses that you probably should have eliminated a long time ago such as unused gym memberships or subscriptions that you do not use. Then focus on conveniences that you can probably do on your own such washing your own car, or cooking your own meals. You may rediscover the advantages up doing these things on your own instead of paying someone to do it such as getting more exercise and eating healthier.
You can't escape the math: no one can't live with the same expenses when they have a reduced income. But instead of letting this get you down, see this as an opportunity to simplify and clarify your life and begin to make healthy choices.
4. Retool yourself.
If you do not have any marketable skills or your skills are outdated, now is the perfect time for you to retool yourself so that you can get a decent paying job, or launch a new career. If you are not ready to get a degree, there are many job training programs available to you at community colleges. These are two-year colleges that have low tuition and financial aid in which people of all ages can and do attend. The excuse you might give that you are “too old” to go back to school is simply nonsense; you will find people from 18 to 68 years old in your classes. Counselors are available to help you find employment after you complete the program.
Other alternatives are part time or full time jobs that may not appeal to you but which you can tolerate if you know though that these jobs will not become a permanent way of life. Working at them during the day and going to school at night might be difficult, but it is a temporary sacrifice for a brighter future. Telling your friends, neighbors, and acquaintances that you were looking for employment is also a sensible thing to do. You might be pleasantly surprised that simply telling people you are available for work can lead to eventual employment.
5. Keep a positive mental attitude.
The most important tip is to always keep in mind that although you may be taking one step back, you may need to do this to take your two steps forward. Staying positive, keeping away from depressing people or situations, going easy on the alcohol, and avoiding self-pity, and the like keeps you motivated to take those two steps forward. Not only that, but it will make the journey easier overall because you will not be making things so hard for yourself. For example, if you are constantly thinking about your divorce in the workplace and allowing it to depress you , you will be blinded to opportunities to improve your present career or move on to a better one because you're still fighting the battles of your divorce in your mind and feelings and behavior. How can you get a merit pay increase if you work ineffectively and act like a sad sack on the job because you are still feeling depressed over your divorce while performing or attempting to perform your assignments? When you feel you are a victim, you will act like one, guaranteeing a place for yourself on poverty row.
Let those feelings go and begin with a clear slate. Only then can positive things begin to happen for you. You may see that now is the time to seek out a better job with another company, or you may become more aware of possibilities for a transfer to a higher position in the company you work for now. Or maybe you are fed up with working for others and are sick and tired of always being told what to do. You may begin you may be ready to strike out as an independent entrepreneur. Opportunities abound for you to explore those options if you will release the creative energies inside yourself that are being throttled by your negative feelings about your divorce.
Coming through a divorce with the best possible outcome requires not only a healthy outlook and attitude, but a clear plan for the future and the assistance of an experienced divorce attorney to help you develop a legal plan that will help keep the damage from the divorce from devastating you. We are available to help if you need any assistance. Please call The Palmer Law Firm at 832-819-3529 or visit us at www.thepalmerlawfirm.com to find out how we can help you deal with the financial impact of your divorce.