Top Five Types of Emotional Divorce

Emotional divorce can happen years before a legal one.  An emotional divorce is when a husband, a wife, or both become convinced that they are no longer the top priority in their spouses’ lives.  Long before someone seeks out a lawyer, they may have already emotionally separated from their spouse.  Here is a list of the top five types of emotional divorces.

1.  The “Honeymoon” Divorce
This is the type of emotional divorce that begins almost immediately after the wedding ceremony.  It is a sinking “what have I done?!” feeling when all the excitement of the wedding gives way to the reality that you have just married someone who you are really not compatible with.  Differences of religion, spending habits, and other value differences that didn’t seem to matter in the courtship suddenly become inescapable as you realize you will be with this person forever.  Power struggles erupt soon after the honeymoon is over and you become emotionally divorced.

2.  The “My Relatives Come First” Divorce
 Here, the top priority for a spouse is their family and the spouse comes second.  When family events come before your spouse’s needs, or when a spouse has failed to mature their childhood attachments into an adult relationship, then an emotional divorce is the result.

3.  The “My Career Is More Important” Divorce
Today, most people have begun careers that they are passionate about prior to getting married.  As single people, many chose to dedicate much of their personal lives to advance in their careers.  However, once married, your personal life is no longer your own.  If a spouse fails to adjust their priorities and continues to work late hours, and on weekends at the expense of spending time with their spouse- then their real love- work is revealed and an emotional divorce has occurred.

4.  The “Baby Makes Three” Divorce
When pregnancy and birth brings a new member to the family, it is natural for some adjustment in the marriage relationship.  However, some women (and some men) devote all their love and attention to the baby and save nothing for the marriage.  Babies demand immediate attention but when caring for the needs of the newborn ALWAYS takes precedent over the needs of the spouse, then the child becomes a substitute for the relationship and the parents become emotionally divorced.

5.  The “Great Expectations” Divorce
Some people view a potential spouse as “good husband” or “good wife” “material”.   They see a life of material wealth as the main benefit of the marriage.  When this expectation is the number one priority, then it is a sure bet the marriage is doomed.  Inevitably, disappointments or financial set-backs will precipitate a divorce, but this type of emotional divorce happened even before the marriage.  Such unions may be financially solvent, but they are emotionally bankrupt and therefore- D.O.A.

If you and your spouse have already had an emotionally divorce, it may be time to move on.  If you need more information about this topic, contact the Palmer Law Firm at www.mydivorcefirm.com to schedule your free divorce consultation.